Jacki and I have been plagued with ants since we moved into our house. The situation has gradually worsened. Last week, with Jacki’s family here, it finally came to a breaking point. Enough was enough. So we drew up a Declaration of War and brought our arsenal to bear on the six-legged critters: 5 cans of bug spray, ant chalk, and a bag of bug powder. War has begun!
This document hereby signifies our intent to defend our home from the invading forces of the nation of Ants. We have abided your incursions and raiding expeditions long enough and shall not suffer them any further. Let it be known that the Quinley home is a sovereign land, determined to rule itself and not cower in terror at the actions of our six-legged neighbors. We do this for our children and our children’s children. And so on and so forth into the future. In one swift strike, we will deal a crushing blow to your armies. This blow will come into effect on July 2nd at 11 am. You have been warned.